March 23, 2010
my white birdy,
my love, im a mess ryt now, i cant help it. i hav no contol over my emotions. i kno, im bi-polar, a complete contradiction. no ones perfect. u arnt, n niether am i. yes, u’v broken my heart, n i hav broken urs too. we’ve both hurt eachother, without wanting to. but we both still love eachother, this i kno for sure. but u need to change urself, n the ego tht u have. bcuz thts the reason why ur slowly losin everything u have. ur slowly losin me too. i cant be with u, not unless u prove to me tht u will only tell me wats tru.
i dont wanna be the person to let u go during ur hardest times. but if i stay, u might never learn the lesson u need to learn. if i stay, its just a huge risk, the future wont be anything near wat we want it to be, itll be a waste. but, if i leave, u’ll turn urself into a complete mess. u’ll destroy everything u hav left. n i dont want u to turn out tht way. i kno u love me n i love u too. but things are just so hard ryt now. i feel soo helpless. i dont kno wat to do, not at all. i hav a big decision to make, but the results of either choices are unknown. i feel presured, n i dont wanna be pressured into makin the wrong decision. i just want the best for both of us ryt now. i want wats best for u. but im not perfect, idk wat to do anymor. im just hopin that u dont give up on us, even if i hoplessly do.
right now, the only reason im trying so hard is for u. for youu my love, for u R.
idk wats gonna happen, but after everything, no matter wat, always remember, that i will always love u. i will always love u, my love for u will never die , even if i do.
—- your red rose <3
—- if only i cud tell him this myself. i really want need to.
